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Crop Circles Explained! (Again) PDF Print E-mail
Swift
Written by Jeff Wagg   

drunktasAt the JREF, we don't talk about crop circles very much. They're still out there, in fact an interesting new one that depicts Pi was recently discovered. But ever since people started coming forward to admit that they'd created complex circles using no more than a board, two ropes, and the lines left by irrigation equipment, the scientific community has lost interest.

They may have done so prematurely. You see, there is new evidence that a non-human lifeform is responsible for at least some crop circles appearing recently in Tasmania, and it's not what you think.

No, the Tasmanian Devil is not responsible. However, one of his cousins may be. To quote the LA Times:

...we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Giddings told those assembled. "Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high.

That's right, wallabies... small kangaroo-like marsupials apparently enjoy opium as much as humans do and take advantage of Tasmania's rich (and legal) crops. They lose their senses and run around creating circles in the crops.

While this is FAR from explaining all crop circles everywhere, and it's interesting to note that the "people with boards" explanation isn't sufficient to explain all crop circles. These opium fields are under heavy security, so if people were entering to make circles, the growers would be VERY interested to know how they managed it.

Drunk wallabies are less of a concern.

Several growers have witnessed animals enjoying the fruits of their labors, and for some reason, wallabies tend to "dance" in circles when under the influence. Also, it's interesting to note that the wallabies don't seem to get addicted. Once they've had their fun, the head back into the wild.

Do animals explain other crop circles? Possibly. Author Freddy Silva suggests that mating hedgehogs have created at least some crop circles in England. Apparently, the male chases the female around and around flattenng crops in the process.

So between stoned wallabies, sex-crazed hedghogs, and mathematically mischievous people with lumber, maybe we can put this one to rest for awhile.

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written by Crazy Ufologist, June 28, 2009
No, no, no, they're aliens, I tell you. Aliens disguised as hedgehogs. Sex-crazed aliens!
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written by DaveHunt, June 28, 2009
According to the British Society of Dowsers they are caused by vortices created by the earth's ley lines.
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Fractured Quote?
written by Michael K Gray, June 28, 2009
Opium is the Religion of the Marsupials.
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written by MadScientist, June 28, 2009
I've pointed out elsewhere that the reason wallabies are kangaroo-like marsupials is that they are in fact kangaroos. Many species of kangaroo seem to be called "wallaby" though no one can give me a good story on why that's so.

Kangaroos aren't very artistic though; even the splattered flattened ones on the roads don't make terribly interesting patterns.

Now how do the kangaroos get drunk? It's not obvious from what's posted and looks to me like an urban myth told to tourists.
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written by redwench, June 28, 2009
He was using drunk metaphorically, because that is how they behave. They eat the opium poppies...
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written by MadScientist, June 29, 2009
Roos on poppies act like drunken roos? As the enemies of Maxwell Smart would say: I doubt it. I don't think so.

Where is the evidence for such a claim? You can't be sloppy with metaphors and such when you're posting on a site dealing with woosters. Well, technically you can, but that really doesn't help with the objectives.
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written by BillyJoe, June 29, 2009
I've pointed out elsewhere that the reason wallabies are kangaroo-like marsupials is that they are in fact kangaroos.
Well, EITHER they are "kangaroo-like" OR they are "kangeroos", they cannot be BOTH. smilies/wink.gif

Many species of kangaroo seem to be called "wallaby" though no one can give me a good story on why that's so.
The word "wallaby" is derived form the aboriginal word "wa-la-ba".

All wallabies are medium sized or small kangaroos. You wouldn't, for example, call a "Big Red" a wallaby. And you wouldn't call a "Hare Wallaby" a kangaroo, even though it is understood that the word "wallaby" implies that it is a type of kangaroo.

BillyJoe.

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written by BillyJoe, June 29, 2009
The word "wallaby" is derived form the aboriginal word "wa-la-ba".
Similarly, "kangaroo" is derived from the aboriginal word "gangurru".

(As a matter of interest (or not), my home town of "Mooroolbark" is also derived from an aboriginal word "Mooroolbeek" meaning "red earth" (moorool = red, beek = earth)

BillyJoe
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Does it work on chickens?
written by Johan Stuyts, June 29, 2009
I'll try to get my chickens drunk and let's hope they make some nice circles in my lawn. smilies/wink.gif
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written by MadScientist, June 29, 2009
@Johan: My sister says you can get your chickens drunk by sticking the bottle in the other end, pouring in the booze, and just holding the chicken upside down for a few minutes (presumably so the booze doesn't just all leak out).

Just remember not to take another swig from the same bottle. Bottoms up!
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written by MadScientist, June 29, 2009
@Johan: I forgot to mention - since chickens are much smaller than humans, be careful or you'll have dead pickled chickens.
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written by redwench, June 29, 2009
Unless the someone is having a very good laugh at the expense of the Australian Parliament, it appears to be factual. The quoted individual in the following article is who the article says she is, the Attorney General of Tasmania. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asi...118257.stm

To spare you the need to read, it says the information became public in a hearing on the security of the poppy fields.
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question
written by truth6413@yahoo.com, June 29, 2009
I know that crop circles are hoaxes, but how do they make such eloborate, detailed circles in such a short time? Some of these are actually awesome artwork.
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written by Kuroyume, June 29, 2009
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Crop-Circle

'Tis all in the planning and execution (and having a few friends probably makes the process fast).
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written by Gumba Masta, June 29, 2009
No, no, no, they're aliens, I tell you. Aliens disguised as hedgehogs. Sex-crazed aliens!

Well, as long as they keep their slimy tentacles from our cheerleaders.
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written by tctheunbeliever, June 29, 2009
And practice makes perfect!

"Poppies, poppies will make them sleeeeep!"
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written by SonOfScience, June 29, 2009
From MadScientist: "Bottoms up!"

Good grief. Hysterical.
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Wow, i had a similar experience
written by Sadhatter, June 29, 2009
So i may take some flak from this, but i have first hand experience of a rodent ( i believe) doing something very similar.

Now most of the main stream skeptics seem to be anti recreational drugs. And for the most part i am as well. But i do like myself the occasional puff of ganji.

Now one time me and some friends ( all very skeptical skeptics i may add) decided to make some special brownies. At this time we also had a friend that came by the apartment. I called him Terrence, he was our resident squirrel. Now we have fed Terrence many things ( Squirrell friendly food from the research i have done.) and he enjoyed them so much he always came back, getting so bold as to come into the apartment.

Now this day some brownie had been dropped outside, and lo and behold terrence ate it with gusto. Being amused and wanting to see how much terrence liked the brownies we began putting larger and larger pieces of brownie outside. Terrence ate his fill and kept coming back. After consuming nearly an entire brownie ( about a 3 inch square) he still came back, this time we could watch him take the brownie and ( pun intended) squirrel it away in my air conditioning vent.

Now about 20 minutes later Terrence came back to the balcony and seemed much friendlier than normal. Literally hanging out on the balcony with me and a friend of mine while we smoked ( i also smoked cigarettes at the time, a habit i have since stopped.) we started noticing something weird.

I don't want to sound like a pet psychic, but Terrence started looking over the railing of the balcony. And just by the way he was motioning it was obvious he was trying to think if he should jump down to save time.

A quick discussion about trapping Terrence for his own good was started. But Terrence showing some good squirrel-sense. Decided walking down the wall very slowly to the ground was the best idea.

Now we lost track of him for a while, but then i looked down and saw one of the funniest sights i have ever seen.

( as an aside, terrence was a very recognizable squirrel , having most of the fur on the tip of his tail gone.)

Terrence was running in a ( nearly) prefect circle , a large circle. Now this by itself was funny, but he kept it up for over 20 minutes, with me watching and giggling for various reasons.

Now to be perfectly honest i kinda got scared for ol Terrence, realizing that while it was unlikely that the pot hurt him maybe chocolate would have. But no, Terrence showed up for the next year on and off, and i assume died a naturally squirrely death after that.

Now besides being a funny story, i wonder if wandering around in a circle is a typical thing for animals to do when messed up. Or if not what types of animals commit this behavior.

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hmmmmmm...
written by CasaRojo, June 29, 2009
"i wonder if wandering around in a circle is a typical thing for animals to do when messed up.Or if not what types of animals commit this behavior. "

Think NASCAR.

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written by Holmstrom, June 29, 2009
Be careful...Those poppies nearly wacked Dorothy and Toro!
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written by Holmstrom, June 29, 2009
Oops! Toto
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written by Nektar, June 30, 2009
GPS tractors & strimmers can be used-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/ne...ner.shtml smilies/grin.gif
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written by CasaRojo, June 30, 2009
"Be careful...Those poppies nearly wacked Dorothy and Toro! "

Spanish virgin?... I mean version?
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written by Lahurongirl, June 30, 2009
You guys are funny smilies/cheesy.gif
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written by patrick767, July 01, 2009
@MadScientist

So your sister is giving booze enemas to chickens? The things people will do for entertainment...
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@SadHatter
written by EmJay, July 02, 2009
Spiders on marijuana make hopelessly disorganised partial webs.

I wonder if anyone would make a fuss, though, about finding a mysteriously appearing non-pattern in a field...is it worth the experiment?
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written by Arts Myth, July 02, 2009
I heard of a guy who used to run a pretty high-class drinking establishment, even had a coat-check at the front. He had a pretty liberal policy regerding clientelle; as long as you were of age, you were welcome. Turns out that was nearly his downfall. For some reason, a lot of chickens started coming in and, as Johan described, had a somewhat different approach to imbibing their alcohol. This began upsetting a lot of the other customers, and many stopped coming. He started to lose money, and even had to let the coat-check staff go. Finally he came upon the solution - a separate room for the chickens and their unsettling drinking habits. What had been the coat-check was now the cloaca room.
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Oh, for an edit button...
written by Arts Myth, July 02, 2009
I guess that ought to read "as MadScientist described."
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written by Paul Murray, July 04, 2009
I've pointed out elsewhere that the reason wallabies are kangaroo-like marsupials is that they are in fact kangaroos


According to the
Australian Faunal Directory

Genus Macropus has several species, with various common names - wallabies, kangaroos, wallaroos and so on. Of course, what people choose to call these animals is not what they "are in fact". Common names are just - well - common names. Names in common use. "A rose by any other name" and all that.
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http://www.goarticles.com/cgi-...?C=2020535
written by frankdryfus, October 13, 2009
I'm so glad someone has explained this for all of the conspiracy theorists out there. Amazing howfarmers can have so much control over the media, but at least it gave them something to do with their otherwise boring lives.
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