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Move Over Crystal Head… PDF Print E-mail
Swift
Written by Jeff Wagg   

ovalbottlethumb2That’s right, there’s a new booze on the block. Reader David points us to Oval Vodka, which is "structured" and designed by a "homeopathic scientist."

Sigh.

"'Structuring’ is our name for a patented process developed by Professor Valery Sorokin, a renowned Russian homeopathic scientist." They show a nice nd completely inaccurate animation of a “vodka molecule” being enveloped by water, and somehow this is supposed to provide a smooth taste like fresh spring water. The process, whatever it is, takes 11 days.

I tried to do a patent search and could find nothing under the name given on the site, which is "Professor Valery Sorokin, a renowned Russian homeopathic scientist." For someone "renowned" he sure has a low google profile. I couldn’t find a single reference to him other than this vodka.

One has to wonder what homeopathy, which is the anti-science of extreme dilution, has to do with encapsulating vodka molecules with water. There is simply nothing in common between homeopathy and altering an alcohol or water molecule. Alcohol molecules are much bigger than water molecules, so what do they mean by "encapsulate"? The world may never know.

Like Crystal Head, they go on about how special the bottle is, and one reviewer remarked how nice the heavy cap is. To me, this smacks of marketing ploy, and I believe that’s all this vodka is. As with Zicam, the marketeers know that people will buy things associated with homeopathy, even though they have no understanding what the term means.They think of it is as "natural" and "pure," while the accurate thought would be "it's nothing."

So yes… pretty bottle, and the vodka may even taste good, but this marketing of flat lies at $40 a bottle (Seagrams is about $12) makes me want to vomit. I find it insulting that a company thinks it can use the techniques of 19th century snake oil salesman in 21st century America and get away with it.

In this last, I am sadly resigned to admitting that they’re probably right.

 

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written by mandydax, July 15, 2009
At least with Crystal Head you get a cool-looking bottle. I almost bought one at the South Point gift shop for a non-drinking friend just because he'd love a skull-shaped bottle.
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written by Kuroyume, July 15, 2009
I'll have a homeopathic lager, please, with the succussed foam. Yes. Thanks.

So, this isn't 'diluted' vodka in the homeopathic spirit (cue drums) but something just aligning itself tenuously to homeopathy using this 'water encapsulation process'?

I, for one, will never purchase it. Well, that's because I hate vodka (it is a few notches above tequila though). smilies/smiley.gif
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Homeopathic Vodka eh?
written by Chris Hunt, July 15, 2009
So you take a tot of normal vodka, spend 11 days diluting it till the poor "vodka molecules" are so "encapsulated" by the water ones that there actually aren't any in the bottle. The result is a drink that tastes "like fresh spring water" (hmmm... wonder why?), but through the magic of homeopathy is incredibly powerful. Can you get drunk on placebo?
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written by That Guy, July 15, 2009
No, you see. It is the shaking, not the diluting, which is key in this process.

Question: could you sell (diluted/shaken) vodka in the US while still saying it is XXproof? Shaken yes, stirred no.
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written by MadScientist, July 15, 2009
Gee, Chevy Chase won't like people muscling in on the SillyVodka racket. I wonder what the next crystal skull vodka claims will look like.
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written by Butterscotch pudding, July 16, 2009
"homeopathic scientist"

This is what you get when you take one scientist, dilute his knowledge and skill with 99 parts of woo. Shake heartily. Dilute again. And repeat this several times (typically 20 or 30) until there isn't an atom of science left in the person. It is a most effective cure against forming an understanding of universe.
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written by Careyp74, July 16, 2009
"The structuring process combines water and alcohol in a way that is different than every other vodka – it arranges the vodka so that the water completely envelops the spirit. The result…Since the alcohol is completely surrounded by water the first thing you’ll taste is the soft clean taste of pure water.

The structuring process can only be accomplished at 48, 84 and 112 proof. We have chosen 84 proof for this product to provide you with a vodka that tastes great straight, makes even better cocktails and provides you the best drinking experience possible."

I can mix water with my own vodka and pay much less, thank you very much.
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Marketing Ploy
written by GusGus, July 16, 2009
ALL vodka advertising is marketing ploy. Since, by definition, vodka is pure alcohol diluted by pure water (or is that pure water diluted by pure alcohol? - it's all a matter of perspective), all vodkas are the same, except for advertising differences and alcohol percentages.
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This might be the patent
written by RobbieD, July 16, 2009
At
http://v3.espacenet.com/public...&KC=&FT=E

we find a patent by VALERY NIKOLAEVICH SOROKIN for....

METHOD FOR PRODUCING A WATER-ALCOHOL SOLUTION AND PRODUCTS BASED THEREON


Bibliographic data Description Claims Mosaics Original document INPADOC legal status




Publication number: WO03062368 (A1)
Publication date: 2003-07-31
Inventor(s): SOROKIN VALERY NIKOLAEVICH [RU]
Applicant(s): OOO NP OB O VODNO ANALITICHESK [RU]; SOROKIN VALERY NIKOLAEVICH [RU]
Classification:
- international:A61K8/00; A61K8/02; A61K8/34; A61K8/36; A61K8/362; A61K8/97; A61K9/00; A61K9/08; A61K47/04; A61K47/10; A61K47/12; A61Q11/00; A61Q19/00; C12G3/04; C12G3/06; A61K8/00; A61K8/02; A61K8/30; A61K8/96; A61K9/00; A61K9/08; A61K47/02; A61K47/10; A61K47/12; A61Q11/00; A61Q19/00; C12G3/00; (IPC1-7): C12G3/06; A61K7/00; A61K9/08
- European:A61K8/362; A61K8/34; A61K8/36; A61K8/97; A61K9/00M3; A61K47/10; A61Q11/00; A61Q19/00; C12G3/04; C12G3/06
Application number: WO2002RU00547 20021223
Priority number(s): RU20020100464 20020115; RU20020100465 20020115; RU20020107883 20020328

View INPADOC patent family
View list of citing documents
View document in the European Register
Also published as:

EP1380639 (A1)
EP1380639 (Asmilies/cool.gif
US2004109900 (A1)
JP2005514943 (T)
CN1620496 (A)

more >>

Cited documents:

RU2159802 (C1)
RU2106316 (C1)
RU2124353 (C1)
RU2035905 (C1)
GB958825 (A)


Abstract of WO 03062368 (A1)
The invention relates to the food industry and can be used for producing alcoholic products. Said invention also relates to pharmacology and can be used for producing tinctures and extracts or preparations containing water-alcohol solutions as pharmaceutically acceptable mediums, and for cosmetology for producing cosmetic products containing said water-alcohol solutions as cosmetically acceptable mediums. The inventive method for producing a water-alcohol solution consists in separating injurious additives by pre-protonating water and alcohol until said water-alcohol solution is produced, whereby improving the physico-chemical and organoleptic characteristics of a final product. Said method makes it possible to produce high quality water-alcohol products, reduce by two or more times the production cycle of several products, whereby reducing the production cost thereof.
Data supplied from the esp@cenet database — Worldwide

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written by Wholly Father, July 16, 2009
Make mine a vodka martini, successed, not stirred!!
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homeopathic drinks
written by jer, July 16, 2009
As I sit enjoying my morning coffee, this leaves me wondering if I used too many beans.

According to a homeopath, is weak coffee stronger than strong coffee?
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Abstract of WO 03062368 (A1)
written by Chris_Klippel, July 16, 2009
How nice. The publication number starts with WO0.

How much clearer can it be that this is woo ....

Coincidence, or well-done joke by whatever person had to handle this crap?
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Why bother with vodka?
written by Metatron, July 16, 2009
Vodka is drunk for effect, usually as a mixer. Is it not true the best vodkas strive to have no taste whatsoever? As for us, we buy Spiritus, a 96% by volume grain alcohol from Poland for six euros a bottle. That's twice the ethyl alcohol for half the price.

Measure carefully, this stuff can be dangerous.

Also, it burns hot enough to run my sterling engine.
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written by fatewilleatyou, July 16, 2009
The Crystal Head was a bargain at South Pointe, half of what if goes for at the Tropicana and $20 cheaper than the retail ads I've seen for it. I picked it up for the bottle. If I do drink the vodka, it will make a lovely lamp.
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written by DKrap, July 16, 2009
Just another way to separate fools from their money. I would like to see the results of a truly blind taste test of this vodka and the hundreds of others now on the market. My guess is that the odds of identifying this vodka over any others is far less than chance.

This reminds me of many bottled water vs. tap water blind tastings. Many times, the tap water will come out ahead of most, if not all of the bottled water in taste tests. Also, when I was in school, the class did a blind comparison of natural "sea" salt to plain old table salt. No one could tell the difference.

Recently at a favorite restaurant of mine, customers at a nearby table ordered bottles of water at $5 plus each, with large glasses of ice (made from tap water!). I was laughing inside as I watched the ice melt in their glass and diluting the $5 water with free tap water. Of course, these people did not see that they were wasting their money, they had the really cool empty water bottles to show for their $5.oo.
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written by Kuroyume, July 16, 2009
Vodka myths: Mythbusters
Bottled water myth: Penn&Teller Bullshit!
Homeopathic myth: JREF
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written by bela okmyx, July 16, 2009
written by MadScientist, July 15, 2009
Gee, Chevy Chase won't like people muscling in on the SillyVodka racket. I wonder what the next crystal skull vodka claims will look like.

Actually, it's Dan Aykroyd who does the Crystal Meth Head vodka.
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written by MadScientist, July 16, 2009
@bela okmyx: Thanks. I must be going senile. :} Wrong ghostbuster ...
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written by tctheunbeliever, July 16, 2009
Um, Chevy Chase a Ghostbuster?
(just to be picky)
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Homeopathy does work- Proof
written by Steven Slaughter, July 16, 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMGIbOGu8q0 smilies/grin.gif
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Oh, the silliness of the liquor industry.
written by Brookston John, July 17, 2009
Reminds me of "Patron" tequila. Nice-shaped bottle, but no way cactus juice is worth $40 a pint.
After about the third drink, you're just "Firing for Effect" anyway...
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A TEST
written by MrAtheist, July 17, 2009
OK, I'll drink a bottle of regular vodka every day, and a woo-promoter can drink a bottle of this homeopathic vodka every day, and we'll see who gets cirrhosis of the liver first.
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written by mjh937, July 19, 2009
Wouldn't homeopathic vodka be water? I can get homeopathic vodka from my tap at home for free.
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