I've been flying a lot this month. In total, I took something like 20 flights, mostly to speak for skeptic groups around the country. (Hello Boston, Syracuse, Houston, Atlanta, New Hampshire and Phoenix!) I stare at things during that uncomfortable time when I'm separated from life-giving electronics (such as this Mac), and a thought occurred to me... this plane is woo-free.

There are any number of strange (to me) objects on a plane, and over time I've learned to identify a few of them. There's a tiny vertical strip of metal on the wing that's used for safety lines so maintenance workers don't fall off. The fins at the tips of the wings are there to reduce drag and thus increase fuel efficiency. And yes, the arm rests on the aisle-side of the seats go up if you can find the latch-a handy trick for getting out of your seat without putting the tray up.

But I don't see anything that I could find in a New Age shop. No crystals, amulets, sigils, or red string. Heck, we didn't even start with a prayer service.

Flying is serious business. If something goes wrong, everyone dies. As such, each and every part of the plane is chosen carefully, and to the credit of our species, flying is the 2nd safest mode of transportation. (Cruise ships are the first when measuring passengers per mile.) Given that there is so much at risk, why isn't there a Jesus on the dashboard, or a Pennsylvania Dutch hex symbol pasted on the side of the plane? Where are the (not so) lucky rabbits' feet and four-leaf clovers? (three-leafed ones are here) Why not have all the help we can get up there?

Simple. These totems of good fortune have no effect on anything except the human psyche. Planes fly because some very clever people figured out the laws of physics well enough to utilize them, and over the past 100 years we've advanced enough that flying is now an annoyance rather than a wonder. I haven't seen too many advances in good luck charms lately, though they continue to be sold.

In the real world where money and lives are on the line, things that work get used. They get modified, they evolve, and we reap the benefits. Things that don't work get left behind, though sadly, it is common today to dredge them up as "ancient wisdom," somehow forgotten by a careless civilization.

Ancient wisdom holds that the only way to fly involves doing obscene things with Satan and applying belladonna salves to your nether regions. THAT is ancient wisdom. Here's some more - one attempted cure for the plague involved crushing the testicles. Oh, and if you want to keep a bridge intact over running water, be sure to bury a female virgin at its base.

Checking the seat back pocket, I see no salve. I guess we'll be ignoring ancient wisdom in favor of physics on this flight. Sorry Satan, not this time.

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written by Otara, October 01, 2009

The safety briefing?

I kid I kid.

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written by harpman, October 01, 2009

enjoy the ride Jeff ^^

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Actually not
written by Dr.Sid, October 01, 2009

If you were allowed to open the engines, you would see little elves making it all happen. It's all elf magic. The fact you haven't seen elves inside (or Satan) does not mean they are not used at all (or he).
And the fuel ? There is no fuel in the first place, it's just chemicals to be sprayed on us, as we all know (and you too I guess).

Eh .. sorry .. couldn't resist.

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written by Didacticus, October 01, 2009

I've flown a fair bit in the middle east and some airlines from that region DO start with a prayer for safety, and provide the direction to Mecca for Muslims to pray towards throughout the flight. It's scary to consider whether, by submitting their safety to the will of their particular magic being, they are still making safety their personal responsibility or not.

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Try fly Lufthansa...
written by Artex, October 01, 2009

... they do not have seat row 13. Seriously.

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written by Alan3354, October 01, 2009

I flew on Air Afriqiyah and the monitor shows the direction and distance to Mecca. If they said any prayers, they weren't in English. Or Spanish or French.

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written by Alan3354, October 01, 2009

My complaint is "We'll be taking off momentarily..." on Continental, and some others.

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Artex
written by Alan3354, October 01, 2009

I don't think I've seen a row 13 on an airplane. Most hotels don't have a 13th floor, either.

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Jet Woo!
written by Paul Claessen, October 01, 2009

Although more tradition than actual 'woo', you can see most (but not all) pilots "kick the tire" when they do their inspection-round around the airplane.
This clearly doesn't serve any technical purpose (anymore).

Then I thought of something else: I recalled that many a TAM7 attendant noticed the absence of a floor 13 in our hotel.
I wondered if airlines would skip row 13!
I did a quick check: only checked two flights, one by American Airlines, and one by Continental.
And sure enough: the Continental plane did NOT have a row 13. The row behind row 12 was row 14!

There you have it: Jet Woo!

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Jet Woo!
written by Paul Claessen, October 01, 2009

Google: plane row 13
Lots of examples!

See: lane_missing_row_13.jpg'>http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Filelane_missing_row_13.jpg

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Jet Woo:
written by Paul Claessen, October 01, 2009

The above link got scrambled (because it contained a colon): try this instead: http://tr.im/AkHB

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written by ShowerComic, October 01, 2009

@Artex: "they do not have seat row 13. Seriously."
-- I haven't noticed, though 13 is so rare these days, It might be absent on other airline rows as well.
(I'll try to check on our way back)
-- New: I used to always sit over the wing / emergency exit as a kid, I don't think you can do that now, w/o being asked if you're capable of helping in an emergency.
-- If the crew does have any personal religious belief or superstitious actions, they keep them to themselves. I fortunately don't see the Gideans leaving Bibles in the back seat pockets of the passenger seats
-- That's how it should be IMHO, and to their credit it showed in famous accidents when the plane landed on the hudson, and on 9/9/09 when they safely handled the hijacking.

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written by Alan3354, October 01, 2009

I found an El Al 747 that has a row 13. 6 or 8 others I looked at do not.

I suspect the manufacturer makes that decision, undoubtedly with input from the airlines.

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written by Alan3354, October 01, 2009

Check seats at seatguru.com

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written by garyg, October 01, 2009

The airlines' magazines often contain a horoscope, however. United's doesn't.
I suggest that skeptics write and complain to ones that do still run an astrology column,
reminding them, as I do, that the airline doesn't consult an astrologer to determine
their scheduling so why should their passengers use one for any purpose?

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written by Cian, October 01, 2009

i religulously down some mystical spirits (whiskey) to help me with my plane demons (fear of flying)

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Row 13!
written by JeffWagg, October 01, 2009

I completely forgot the Row 13 thing. Jetblue uses mostly Airbus 319 and 320's and these have a Row 13. In fact, I often choose this row because it seems the one most likely to have an empty seat in the middle.

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magazine horoscope...
written by Careyp74, October 01, 2009

is entertainment that readers sometimes enjoy. I wouldn't get bent out of shape about it.

ShowerComic, asking the ability to assist is an FAA requirement now. However, it is silly, I have been on many flights where exit rows were empty, so why would it matter if a kid was sitting there?

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written by Paul Claessen, October 01, 2009

1: "Jetblue uses mostly Airbus 319 and 320's and these have a Row 13"
Of course! Airbus is European. We Europeans don't do 'woo'! (just kidding)

2. "it is silly, I have been on many flights where exit rows were empty, so why would it matter if a kid was sitting there?"
Silly? If you had to escape from a burning airplane, would you want the exit row empty, or blocked by a panicing crying 10 year-old who doesn't know what to do?

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Wing and a Prayer
written by Rustylizard, October 01, 2009

Alaska Airlines used to offer prayer cards. I don't know if they still do. I once wrote in, asking if they were flying on a wing and a prayer - didn't receive an answer.

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:3
written by Quakeulf, October 01, 2009

"Jet Woo", the illegitimate son of Jet Li and John Woo, and the only martial artist that knows the secret to fighting airplanes with HIS BARE FISTS.

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Flying
written by MAL_JD, October 01, 2009

Flying can still be a wonder. Just ask a Private Pilot

Although just remember these Maintenance Squawk's ( (P) - Probelm (S) - Solution)

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a man pounding on something
with a little hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

You never know

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Whether or not there is a Row 13...
written by jer, October 01, 2009

...does not seem to be the issue in this article. Airlines don't leave the row out because they think it actually impacts the operation of the plane. It is simply because, culturally, 13 is an unpopular/unlucky number. Horoscopes, etc might be offered on the plane as well - but, while they are a woo issue in themselves, they are "services" offered to customers, not a tool to make the plane safer or more effective.

Jeff's point is still the same: When the chips are down and our lives rely on something actually working, we turn to good ol' science-based engineering.

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written by Alan3354, October 01, 2009

Airbus is European, but many airlines flying them do not have a row 13.

I got a negative vote (at least one) on recommending www.seatguru.com (earlier today). Why would anyone do that?
It's a site that gives info about seats on airplanes.

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written by Willy K, October 01, 2009

If something goes wrong, everyone dies.

Not always, Jeffster.

When there are survivors though, the woo-sters have a field day with that extremely annoying cliche "It's a MIRACLE!"

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A row by any other name
written by pxatkins, October 01, 2009

If the plane has more than 12 rows it has a row 13, even if it's called something else - likewise hotel floors.

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written by tctheunbeliever, October 01, 2009

Well, I was on a 13-hour flight once, and I thought I was in Hell. It was a real nightmare at 20,000+ feet.

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written by Paul Claessen, October 01, 2009

I got a negative vote (at least one) on recommending www.seatguru.com (earlier today). Why would anyone do that?


There. Fixed it for ya. (Now EVERYBODY will start voting it down again, of course)

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13 And Other Numbers
written by StarTrekLivz, October 01, 2009

Different cultures have different numerological phobias. 13 is Bad Luck in the USA and some other countries, but in other places different numbers (including, but not limited to, 4, 6, and 17) are Dreaded Numbers.

Some dreaded numbers in one culture are auspicious or lucky numbers in others (think of 7 vs. 666 -- and in my work in Payroll & HR, have run across people who would not accept company-issued ID cards or timesheets if their employee number, assigned by the computer in a simple incremental program, had "666" in a series, and even threatened litigation over their "rights" being violated by being forced to take "the Devil's number -- although some manuscripts of "Revelation" gives 616 or 610 as the number, not 666).

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row 13
written by swordsbane, October 01, 2009

What jer said:
It's not a safety issue. The lack of row 13 is not the airlines being superstitious, it's because they don't want the wrong passenger to suddenly discover there IS a row 13 when they're in the middle of their flight and freak out and they want people to want to fly in their planes. It upsets some people to see the number 13, and if all it takes not to upset them is to use another label on a seat row, it's no wonder most of them do it. I can't speak for all hotels, but the one's in Vegas eliminate the 13th floor for the same reason. Those hotels that don't do it have fewer superstitious gamblers losing their money to them. It's simple economics, not woo.... at least not on the part of the airlines or the hotel owners.

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written by kenhamer, October 01, 2009

My favourite bit of "Jet Woo" involves some otherwise sensible and very successful friends, who for astrology-like reasons (something to do with numerology and the letters in their names) won't fly on certain days. Apparently they feel that their woo outweighs that of everyone else on the plane. I've tried to demonstrate to them that if you applied the same process to all of the people on a large plane, it's likely that the "woo" would average out and approximate zero.

I've also tried to explain to them that if one of the passengers on the plane is in a plane crash then they all will be. Still haven't convinced them to mend their ways, though.

On the other hand, if you're looking out the window and see a gremlin chewing on the wings...

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Spelling error
written by rjh02, October 01, 2009

There is a spelling error. The word of (bolded) should be off.

There are any number of strange (to me) objects on a plane, and over time I've learned to identify a few of them. There's a tiny vertical strip of metal on the wing that's used for safety lines so maintenance workers don't fall of.

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If this isn't woo, what is it?
written by jcwept, October 01, 2009

The science that gave us jet-powered flight assumed from the beginning that fossil fuels, the inefficient production of the same, and the side-effects of their use, would be financially and environmentally sustainable. That's outdated ancient wisdom now. While it has no relation to actually keeping the plane in the air, that's a pretty big part of the flying mechanism that was chosen without any consideration whatsoever!

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written by Chese, October 02, 2009

Well helicopters due have Jesus nuts, because if they fail, you'll be seeing Jesus soon. A bit morbid.

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Emergency Exit Rows
written by GusGus, October 02, 2009

The emergency exit rows are a little wider than the other rows. Therefore the airlines are now charging extra to sit there. That may be why the rows are empty - nobody on that flight wanted to pay the extra fee for the additional space. I wonder if the airlines are also checking on the passenger's mobility before selling the seat. I would hate to have to try scrambling over three handicapped people to try to escape.
.

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written by Paul Claessen, October 02, 2009

I wonder if the airlines are also checking on the passenger's mobility before selling the [exit row] seat.

Oh! ABSOLUTELY!
AAF rules madate that flight attendants make sure that all people in an exit row seat speak English, are of a certain age, and physically able to remove the exit door and help people out of the plane. There are no kids or handicapped people in exit row seats!

http://www.flightsimaviation.com/data/FARS/part_121-585.html

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written by Paul Claessen, October 02, 2009

Therefore the airlines are now charging extra to sit there (exit row seats)

Except for a possible exception here and there (Quantas is rumored to have done this at times), this is definitely NOT a common practice!
In fact, I'm skeptical of the claims that airlines sometimes do this. I fly a LOT and have OFTEN been in an exit row seat (I ask for one, or reserve one on booking) and NEVER had to pay extra for it. (They also do NOT charge LESS for the seats in front of the exit row! -those don't recline!-)

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There is woo on airplanes.
written by warreno, October 02, 2009

When they tell you to turn off all electronics prior to takeoff, that's woo. Cellular phones don't operate on frequencies or at RF levels sufficient to affect flight systems, and laptops, iPods or CD players are inert as far as RF is concerned.

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cellphones
written by swordsbane, October 02, 2009

That's not exactly woo. When cellphones first came out, there was the fear that they WOULD affect aircraft operations, so to keep people from freaking out, the airlines banned their use. By the time everything got straightened out (and there are still nutballs who believe if you get a call in flight, the plane will fall out of the sky) the rule was there, and they're only just now revisiting it.

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LOL
written by SithRage, October 02, 2009

I love how Jeff gives a shout out to the cities of Boston, Syracuse, Houston, Atlanta and Phoenix, but also tosses in the entire state of New Hampshire

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Another Place Woo Shouldn't Rule ....
written by jadebox, October 02, 2009

Another place that should rely on science rather than woo is the hospital. Unfortunately, most are far from woo-free.

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Paying for Emergency Row seats
written by JeffWagg, October 02, 2009

jetBlue and US Air both charge for exit row seats. $40 extra on jetBlue coast to coast.

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hospital woo
written by swordsbane, October 03, 2009

jadebox has it right. There is a St. Mary's hospital in Madison I keep seeing billboards for that say something to the effect of: We're a great hospital because we answer to a higher power. Somehow that would make me feel LESS safe if I found myself needing their services at some point. I get mad when I see those advertisements but it's totally lost on others, even other Atheists. They don't see the potential conflict of interest.

I usually just say "Imagine if they didn't believe in transfusions, or they didn't bother to tell you about a stem-cell derived treatment for something you had that was otherwise fatal. It would be a pretty important conflict of interest then, wouldn't it?"

And that's not counting all the stuff they would do under the heading of "alternate medicine" that they might do. I hear that St Mary's accepts Chiropractic and Acupuncture therapies. I don't know if they are clinical or woo-based, but I'm not exactly filled with hope about that.

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Couple of things
written by Belgarath, October 03, 2009

Kicking the tires: This actually does tell you something. When you have the dual wheel assembly one of the tires could be flat/low on nitrogen. Kicking them tells you this. It's very difficult to tell if there is a flat tire since the other one is designed to support the full weight of both in case of failure. Under-inflated tires heat up faster and have a higher likelihood of blow out.

Exit Row seats have more leg room, for egress purposes, but be careful, sometimes the seat in front of the exit row, or as on the A320 which has 2 exit rows, the first exit row seats don't recline. Yes, in the US you must be over 16, able to understand English commands issued by the Flight Attendant and not physically challenged. Additionally you can't have a lap child.

The hook on the wing: Jeff, if you're looking at an A320, that hook is actually for a guide rope which comes out of the top of the overwing exit window. You take the rope out and hook it to that piece of metal for the purposes of guiding people to the overwing slides in the event of an emergency evac. I suspect that in a real emergency, no one would use it.

Cell Phones on planes: They're banned by the FCC, NOT the airlines. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M...n_aircraft

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written by Tebtenri, October 04, 2009

So no spontaneous Hallelujahs in air pockets then, or are you travelling atheist class?

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written by swordsbane, October 04, 2009

Belgarath: "They're banned by the FCC, NOT the airlines."

Not exactly. They are/were banned by the FAA, not the FCC "unless the operator of a commercial aircraft, or pilot of a private aircraft" Which basically makes it the PIC's decision, and he usually has to do what the airline tells him he has to, unless the airline is putting the plane in jeapardy.

Some airlines do allow cellphones to be used in flight, but they didn't have to rescind the FAA regulation. The FAA is just backing the PIC in the event that there is a difference of opinion.

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written by markbellis, October 05, 2009

one attempted cure for the plague involved crushing the testicles

And it worked too! In many cases, all that was needed was to approach the patient with a hammer and they would bolt out of their beds shouting "I feel much better now!"

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Animal Sacrifice
written by GeorgeP, October 06, 2009

The people at Napalese Airlines sacrifice goats to keep their planes aloft.

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC47086020070904

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Actually they are banned by the FCC
written by Belgarath, October 10, 2009

Being the PIC of a commercial airline, I'm fairly familiar with the operating regulations.

Here is a link to the FCC regulation:

http://ecfr.gpoaccess.gov/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=ecfr&rgn=div8&view=text&node=47:2.0.1.1.2.8.27.12&idno=47

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newshopstyle
written by newshopstyle, November 02, 2009

This versatile styling tool has an ergonomic design and curved edge plates to create any style from straight to curly and everything in between. With a flash heating element and fixed temperature setting, the power to create the style of your dreams is your hands.
GHD
GHD IV Styler

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