“burying bones under the turf and spraying a strange elixir, in order to cast a spell on the playing field’ before a crucial semi final match with Zambia. He was arrested and detained by the police.

There are many “Most Haunted” cemeteries in America. As the eternal home of Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau, St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 in New Orleans claims to be the most haunted cemetery. Another location that claims this title is Resurrection Cemetery in Chicago, allegedly haunted by the hitchhiking ghost of Resurrection Mary.

Silver Cliff Cemetery is a lesser-known most haunted cemetery. For over 40 years people have reported seeing “dancing lights” that appear between the tombstones in the burial ground at night. Silver Cliff is a three-hour drive south of Denver. The tiny town is nestled in the Wet Mountain Valley of Colorado, with a backdrop of the majestic Sangre de Cristo Mountains. During its days as a mining town Silver Cliff had a population ranging from 5,000 to 16,000 people. Today, less than 600 people live there, but the town draws a large number of visitors in search of the lights. Once it was an attraction for its silver deposits, now it is an attraction for its silvery lights.

Confused by the drop-off in his drug profits, Boyd Crowder—criminal turned convict turned preacher turned criminal—discovers that a new backwoods church has been turning the local folk away from sin, and therefore his oxycontin.  

On March 18^th, 1999, I appeared before a packed hall in Washington, DC, attended by Congressional Representatives of highly varied stripes. I felt I’d delivered an effective and factual address, and looked forward to having some reaction following on my talk. I was very much disappointed. Nothing at all happened, I received no inquiries or comments, and I could not understand the lack of response.

Perhaps SWIFT readers can offer me the reason for this failure. You’ll have to follow the account and imagine the actions I took as I spoke.

The following is the text of my talk…

Good afternoon. I am gratified that Congresspersons Brown, Sensenbrenner, Holt, and Ehlers, have invited me here today to address you. I am far from unaccustomed to public speaking, but I seldom have the opportunity of addressing such a distinguished audience that has the potential of acting upon some suggestions that I will make. This is a rare and very welcome opportunity.

This is not the first time that a conjuror has addressed members of the Congress. The justly famous Harry Houdini appeared before a packed House in 1926 to promote an anti-fortunetelling bill that was highly unpopular with the seers and mountebanks of that day. Houdini, as I, was dismayed at the public belief in supernatural forces and pseudoscientific notions. But perhaps his solution—legislation—was not the ideal one. I rather favor education over legislation, so that citizens will avoid surrendering to the charlatans due to better information and an understanding of how the real world works. There is no mightier weapon than education.